WELL, 2DAY:
i went to school
then took care of my boyfriend
and after maybe 30mins of takin care of my sick baby): i had to leave to go to dance practice..
dance practice
Samantha's
now Samantha is over.
It's 9:09 and we just chillin lol...
she ate dinner @ home and now im eatin(:
Corn Dogs, fries, & water<3 yummy.
lol.
she stayin the night..yeee!!!!!! :D
well, ima finish eatin and get to bed after we watch a movie.
ima pass out by 10 i think? lol.
HELLA tired..
ugh, i have work tmrw, BUT 2mro is mine and my bf's lovely 7 months<333333333
Blog's for the fabulous teacher Mrs. Hasket's class.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
i got nothing
i honestly have nothing to write about right now but i have to in order to obtain my grade. ohh, i know what i could write about! i could write about how i was mainting a 4.0 for a few weeks and i think it just went down to a 3.8 because of 1 class, Math For Business; the test was what did it. I hope that i can get it back up because i have never gotten above a 3.3, and i would like to. it's my goal. or maybe a 3.8 at least.. but nothing lower!!!!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
:(
Well I hate when we fight because he has such anger and stuff. I never pick fights but he always gets so mad at ever thing that I do. He blows up and gets mad. I understand that he has anger problems but gosh. Oh and I see where he gets it from.. Because of his family. Like right now everyone in his family is arguing. The oldest brother is arguing calling his little sister a hoe and saying she is dumb and shiett and hella fat. And she is tellin him that since he is 20 he needs to go and find his own house instead of living here with them. Which he should but still. And Chava talks shit with the older brother saying the older brothers room smells like ass and they trying to blame it on Raul. Raul and I just sit here quietly watching Cheech and Chong.. I'm glad that I'm not in this family.
Monday, January 10, 2011
uhmmm i haven't done this in so long
well, i'm sorry if no one cares, but i certainly do.
it has gotten to the point, i officially don't see you anymore.
Mon, Wed; dance practice, then practice iwht Samantha, then homework, shower, bed.
Tues, Thurs; work, singing rehersal, homework, shower, bed.
Fri; singing rehersal with other group, homework, shower, bed.
i try to have you stay the night on Friday nights, and then spend all Saturday with me.
but it doesn't always work out.
i'm to the extent of getting up earlier to be at your house by 6:45 so i can spend 30mins with you before i go to school- since you branched off to Calla ): i hate this, and i hope it doesnt last much longer.
it has gotten to the point, i officially don't see you anymore.
Mon, Wed; dance practice, then practice iwht Samantha, then homework, shower, bed.
Tues, Thurs; work, singing rehersal, homework, shower, bed.
Fri; singing rehersal with other group, homework, shower, bed.
i try to have you stay the night on Friday nights, and then spend all Saturday with me.
but it doesn't always work out.
i'm to the extent of getting up earlier to be at your house by 6:45 so i can spend 30mins with you before i go to school- since you branched off to Calla ): i hate this, and i hope it doesnt last much longer.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
so i think i finally decided?
but i'm still unsure. i think i want to go to The Academy of Art University; going into fassion. but as a side job, i would like to go to a cosmotology school here in Manteca, while that school is located in Sacramento or San Fransisco. At the same time though, a part of me keeps going back and saying that i want to have something to do with writing, or poetry (which is also a part of writing).... but a part of me still wants to do that. idk, i dont think i would want to spend those long days just sitting around thinking of pages and pages to write, that takes so long. i'd get bored. I would have so much more fun if i could design my own clothing line, get my name out there, and known. ahhh, that'd be nice. then be good at hair and makeup as well as a side job to get paid even more money-- so i never have a money problem. i am pretty sure this is what i want to do, about 90% sure. but a part of me wonders, is this right?
-BTW, i can;t decided which Jr college to go to lol.
my boyfriend however wants to go into massage therapy, which is similar to beautician school that i will go to.. but not the fassion. but this is a side job, i think? the bigger thing is going into game designing-- which is at the same college as my fassion is. so that;d work out; we go to the same 4yr college, and then we have side jobs of cosmotology, and massage. that'd be perfect. coincidental i think? haha.
(:
-BTW, i can;t decided which Jr college to go to lol.
my boyfriend however wants to go into massage therapy, which is similar to beautician school that i will go to.. but not the fassion. but this is a side job, i think? the bigger thing is going into game designing-- which is at the same college as my fassion is. so that;d work out; we go to the same 4yr college, and then we have side jobs of cosmotology, and massage. that'd be perfect. coincidental i think? haha.
(:
Monday, November 29, 2010
I Just Don't Understand--
Why & how you can forgive the very man that cheated on you, lied to you, tricked you, abused you, controlled your every move, was rude to you, treated your family like shit, minipulated you, decieved you, turned you into something you weren't, ruled your life, forced you with things, changed you, and ruined you; but you can't forgive me?!
Why & how can you forgive the very man i introduced you to that cheated on you, lied to you, said hurtful things, made you cry, made you run away, tried to turn away from you, mind fucked you, and emotionally wrecked you; but you can't forgive me?!
Why & how can you forgive the very man that's your own cousin but lied to you, tricked you, was rude to you, said hurtful things, called you a bitch, said fuck off, told you that he hated the love of your life ans he was going to show no respect, made fun of you guys, judged you, told you your baby's fat, told you that you're fat, broke your family apart, brought drama, brought a 14yr old girl into the house when he's 21 after he talked shit on you (19) and your love (16), disrespected your stuff, left used condoms on your floor, and lied about having sex, went through your phone, behind your back and snuck, decieved, and ruined your' guys' used to be CLOSE "family-ship"(since you grew up together and were the closest cousins of the family); but you can't forgive me?!
Why & how can you forgive the very women that's your own mother that has tricked and conned you into doing stuff you didn't want to do because you were too shy to say no, who lied to you, who jerked you around, who ordered you to do religious things, who made you believe a bunch of bullshit, who talked shit, who wasn't happy with anything about you unless it was her way; but you can't forgive me?!
When I am the very women who was with you during all of this.
I stood by your side.
Never doing ANY of these things.
I was the best friend you could have, and you know that.
I developed you so much, and helped you so much.
I make 1 little mistake that was on accident,
that i apologized for over and over,
begged you to talk to/text me,
anything @ all...........
but NO.
You don't forgive ME.
ME.
wow.. ME
of all people.
ME.
well, "ME" is more sorry than any of those people ever were, and ever will be-- but you forgive them so easily, right?
I just don't understand you anymore, you're not who you used to be!
I love you so much, and i'm always here for you. You mean more to me then anything. You have no idea how much of an impact you leaving my life has been. I certainly never saw this coming, and I wish i would have so i could have avoided it because I can NOT take it anymore.
I'm tired of seeing you drive by in that car everyone knows you by- I want to be in that car with you again.
I'm tired of dreaming we made up, and we are doing things like old times- I want to make up, and do things like we used to.
I'm tired of texting your phone with no response when i know you're reading it instead of not being able to answer because you're driving and you answer later- I want you to text and ask if you can come over.
I'm tired of seeing your boyfriend that i got you @ school, thinking about you guys, watching him get into your car- I want to get picked up from school by you like i used to, I want to watch memories of us.
Because that's all I have now.
memories.
and they are slowly........ slowly fading.
but it's all I have unfortunately.
because you left me.
this was ANOTHER mistake by you!
that you did to ME.
again, ME.
Well, "me" can't take this anymore!!!!!!!!!!
Why & how can you forgive the very man i introduced you to that cheated on you, lied to you, said hurtful things, made you cry, made you run away, tried to turn away from you, mind fucked you, and emotionally wrecked you; but you can't forgive me?!
Why & how can you forgive the very man that's your own cousin but lied to you, tricked you, was rude to you, said hurtful things, called you a bitch, said fuck off, told you that he hated the love of your life ans he was going to show no respect, made fun of you guys, judged you, told you your baby's fat, told you that you're fat, broke your family apart, brought drama, brought a 14yr old girl into the house when he's 21 after he talked shit on you (19) and your love (16), disrespected your stuff, left used condoms on your floor, and lied about having sex, went through your phone, behind your back and snuck, decieved, and ruined your' guys' used to be CLOSE "family-ship"(since you grew up together and were the closest cousins of the family); but you can't forgive me?!
Why & how can you forgive the very women that's your own mother that has tricked and conned you into doing stuff you didn't want to do because you were too shy to say no, who lied to you, who jerked you around, who ordered you to do religious things, who made you believe a bunch of bullshit, who talked shit, who wasn't happy with anything about you unless it was her way; but you can't forgive me?!
When I am the very women who was with you during all of this.
I stood by your side.
Never doing ANY of these things.
I was the best friend you could have, and you know that.
I developed you so much, and helped you so much.
I make 1 little mistake that was on accident,
that i apologized for over and over,
begged you to talk to/text me,
anything @ all...........
but NO.
You don't forgive ME.
ME.
wow.. ME
of all people.
ME.
well, "ME" is more sorry than any of those people ever were, and ever will be-- but you forgive them so easily, right?
I just don't understand you anymore, you're not who you used to be!
I love you so much, and i'm always here for you. You mean more to me then anything. You have no idea how much of an impact you leaving my life has been. I certainly never saw this coming, and I wish i would have so i could have avoided it because I can NOT take it anymore.
I'm tired of seeing you drive by in that car everyone knows you by- I want to be in that car with you again.
I'm tired of dreaming we made up, and we are doing things like old times- I want to make up, and do things like we used to.
I'm tired of texting your phone with no response when i know you're reading it instead of not being able to answer because you're driving and you answer later- I want you to text and ask if you can come over.
I'm tired of seeing your boyfriend that i got you @ school, thinking about you guys, watching him get into your car- I want to get picked up from school by you like i used to, I want to watch memories of us.
Because that's all I have now.
memories.
and they are slowly........ slowly fading.
but it's all I have unfortunately.
because you left me.
this was ANOTHER mistake by you!
that you did to ME.
again, ME.
Well, "me" can't take this anymore!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
daaaaang;
it's crazy--
it's crazy how much we change from the moment our tiny bodies are pushed out the pouch we called home for 9 months.
it's crazy how we just come out knowing how to cry, how to tell our moms what we want, then knowing how to suck.
it's crazy how we get so scared, on the 1st day of school, and want to come home.
it's crazy how as we grow older, how much we get nutured, showing the outcome of us.
we grow individually.
in our own body.
a body we have to figure out.
the yrs we spend frollicing over who we want to be; what we want to be
the gossip; the rumors; the shit talking; the fighting
how bad we struggle to find our identity,
our friends
our loves
who we trust,
the people who lie and decieve us
the fakes
the back stabbers
people you thought were your friends
getting made fun of,
judged,
threatened,
yelled at,
laughed at,
rudely spoken to,
treated like shit
the changes,
the things that make us, who we are.
everything you're not, makes you who you are
thanks to those
-people that treat you like shit
-the people who speak rude
-the people who laugh at you
-the people who yell at you
-the people who threaten you
-the people whom judge you
-the people that make fun of you
-the people that back stab you
-the people that are fake
-the people whom lie and decieve us
-the people who threaten us; some of resulting in such an extent as attemption of suicide, cutting, running away, crying, punching things, or in actual reality-- succeeding.
-the people who we trust
-the people who we love
-the people we choose to be friends with
-the people help us find our identitiy
-the people who fight us; talk shit; spread nasty rumors; and the people who gossip
-the people that you call your spirm donnors, or your parents..
they all make you what you're not revealing what you are to the naked eye
writing is a scarf to that eye, the clothing.
it helps you get out,
what you don't reveal to the humans around--
but hopefully in the end,
you find that 1 person you can completely open up to
hopefully you find that love, that best friend, get away from the ugly bullshit, find your identity, and reach out. be you.
get inspired,
your inspiration can be anything.
but who would have thought, we would be this, when we popped out of that 9 month oven just knowing how to cry, tell our moms what we want, and suck?
it's crazy!!!!!!!
it's crazy how much we change from the moment our tiny bodies are pushed out the pouch we called home for 9 months.
it's crazy how we just come out knowing how to cry, how to tell our moms what we want, then knowing how to suck.
it's crazy how we get so scared, on the 1st day of school, and want to come home.
it's crazy how as we grow older, how much we get nutured, showing the outcome of us.
we grow individually.
in our own body.
a body we have to figure out.
the yrs we spend frollicing over who we want to be; what we want to be
the gossip; the rumors; the shit talking; the fighting
how bad we struggle to find our identity,
our friends
our loves
who we trust,
the people who lie and decieve us
the fakes
the back stabbers
people you thought were your friends
getting made fun of,
judged,
threatened,
yelled at,
laughed at,
rudely spoken to,
treated like shit
the changes,
the things that make us, who we are.
everything you're not, makes you who you are
thanks to those
-people that treat you like shit
-the people who speak rude
-the people who laugh at you
-the people who yell at you
-the people who threaten you
-the people whom judge you
-the people that make fun of you
-the people that back stab you
-the people that are fake
-the people whom lie and decieve us
-the people who threaten us; some of resulting in such an extent as attemption of suicide, cutting, running away, crying, punching things, or in actual reality-- succeeding.
-the people who we trust
-the people who we love
-the people we choose to be friends with
-the people help us find our identitiy
-the people who fight us; talk shit; spread nasty rumors; and the people who gossip
-the people that you call your spirm donnors, or your parents..
they all make you what you're not revealing what you are to the naked eye
writing is a scarf to that eye, the clothing.
it helps you get out,
what you don't reveal to the humans around--
but hopefully in the end,
you find that 1 person you can completely open up to
hopefully you find that love, that best friend, get away from the ugly bullshit, find your identity, and reach out. be you.
get inspired,
your inspiration can be anything.
but who would have thought, we would be this, when we popped out of that 9 month oven just knowing how to cry, tell our moms what we want, and suck?
it's crazy!!!!!!!
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